Sad and discouraged :X

Smack! She didn’t come to church.

Smack! She tells me she doesn’t feel like seeking God anymore

 

Why God why? Why did this happen? I am so very discouraged right now. All I can think is, it’s my fault. I never prayed hard enough.  And I am at a loss right now. I don’t know, its a double whammy in one day. Sigh. 

And yet. I just remembered, that God said to me when I was feeling upset my friend did not come.  “Do you  not trust me?”  Sigh. Yes that is very true… 

Today’s worship was GREAT. Haha. But I have to admit that its all adding up as pressure on me. I am so afraid that I would not be able to do a good job at worship the following Sunday that I’m leading. :X 

 

I suddenly feel loaded with worries…

LOUDFEST 2009 :D

I know I have not been posting in ages. Now I will try harder! Cos’ I can do it from the comfort of my room  

Being at LoudFest 2009 the past 3 days has been AWESOME I honestly do agree with Ps Daniel, we really reached a new high! And I would know, having attended nearly all the Ignite conferences since the very first “Branded by Fire”

Audacious band really ROCKED big time, I am so very much inspired by them, the energy they display on stage, the way they really give ALL to praise God, I’m like WOW. I wanna lead worship like that too!

Ps Glynn was also amazing, Every sermon taught me something new, something fresh, I saw things from a different perspective, and God really spoke to me. 

I can not begin to describe the things God has shown me and has spoken to my spirit, there is simply quite a lot, to the the point where at the worship session earlier on, I told God, “Whoah! God, slow down. I’m overwhelmed!” God is amazing  and faithful, the things I felt God saying to me about my future, He told me after I told Him I wanted indicators just like what Ps Glynn preached about. (yesterday I think?) But thing is, admittedly I am one of little faith and because what God showed me and spoke to me seemed like too big for me to achieve, I’m going to be praying for more confirmation first… 

I believe that its coming, revival is coming to Singapore. I’m going to DO SOMETHING. so that God can take my little and do A LOT!

 

There is a lot more I want to say but tml there’s church! I should be sleeping soon. 

 

MY GOD IS BIG.

 

Till next time.

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First day of fasting

And so it begins… 

My first day of fasting wasn’t so bad, portobello mushroom pasta at pasta mania for lunch, veggie and fried rice for dinner. I pray that I would have the discipline!!! And also that I won’t forget and eat meat. Haha. 

Anyway, I thought that I should share why I’m doing the daniel fast for 40 days here  (:  

Firstly, about 3 or 4 years ago, at a sermon where pastor James Singh preached about fasting AND I remembered I went up for altar call to make a commitment to God that I will fast. But somehow or rather, I never really got around to doing it. :X Then I heard about the daniel fast that wen, nat, sasha and mel were going on and I thought, now is the time to fast. It’s also easier for me cos I have more people to be accountable to! (:

There are a few things I’m fasting for:

1) A vision for my sec2 girls & for their spiritual growth

2) My service to God in terms of being in the worship team

3) The year 2009, for what God wants to do in my life 

Btw, on a side note, can I just say that my dearest bestfriend mel is such an inspiration? You rock socks girl!

Today mel and I watched Bride Wars (3/5 stars) and then after met Calvin for lunch and discussed cell lesson with him. The major thing I remember from our discussion? He asked mel and I why are we doing what we are doing now for God?

I remember sharing that for me, it’s because of my many personal encounters with God and how He has shown His immense love for me. Such that I want to do things to glorify Him, to please Him and serve Him. I do what I do in church and why I have certain convictions is all cos my King Jesus loves me so much, I just want to tell Him I love Him too

That is something is important I believe, that we all ask ourself this question. Why are we doing what we are doing for God? Why are we living out life in this certain way? And eventually, your answer should be something you hold dear to your heart, especially in trying times. 

Anyway as usual, I should getting to more pressing issues like doing my project on citizen journalism! Haha.

Till next time(:

FUELed up for my GOD :D

Everyday I think about something to post about but when I get home, I forget. haha. 

Anyhow. There has been loads of events going on this past weekend. FUEL… Goodness. It was such a great time of prayer, I’m glad that I went for it! (: It’s amazing how youth were gathered to pray and you can really see God moving! I believe it’s time for us to rise up and take our schools for Him!

God spoke to me about loads and really began to convict of certain things in my life. Especially about school. I remember I went to FUEL with a heavy heart, I wasn’t sure about attending it cos’ ever since I started my mass comm degree with Murdoch, going to school at SMA just did not feel like school. So all I could think about was that I wasted 13 years in “regular” schools not making an impact for God at all. :X

Then God asked me, “Is a private school not a school? There is the word SCHOOL isn’t there?” 

I was awed by what God told me and yet guilty. Because I know that I never thought of it that way, always feeling slightly awkward and embarrassed at having to answer people when they ask “So where are you now?”. As if where I’m studying just doesn’t qualify as a school… And God convicted me of my behaviour in class. Like I admit at times I haven’t given my all in class cos’ I had no interest in marketing/management. No problems with my mass comm modules but the moment I have to take the others, I feel like studying becomes a chore again. Then at FUEL, God made me reflect on my actions and I think is this how a person on fire for God should act? 

All these reflections/thoughts made me do a lot of thinking and I’m praying that God will help me to change. And I’m going to start to properly intercede for people.

Thanks to my dearest mel for sharing with the idea of a “prayer photo album”.  I love my bestfriend to bits. She’s the best!!!

Discouragement amongst other things…

So I’m not a frequent blogger. Can’t help it. Need to have the strength to not go near the computer so often (: 

Today Calvin preached about discouragement. It was good. Though some points were familiar cos’ I remember we went through discouragement at cell with him last year. But the one thing I got from the sermon?

That your walk with God must be going well, that’s why you are facing discouragement, cos’ the devil wants to bring you down!

It’s something I know, yet when Calvin said it, I went WOW! (: I was definitely not discouraged after that sermon, if anything I’m more encouraged. Though yes, I admit I feel slightly afraid of the discouragement that may come my way but honestly, if my God is for me, then who can be against me?

Today’s worship. Haha. I learnt a lot. And I thank God that with every session of worship I lead, I learn new things. I pray that these new lessons will always be kept in my heart, to help me improve in my service to Him.

I was feeling so excited after hearing all the upcoming Ignite events, YAY! Especially the YA one, I have the feeling that the conference will be explosive!!! 

Today, God was speaking to me I feel and reminding me to go back to Him. As in I admit, I haven’t been doing proper QT in the past week cos’ I was in the midst of adjusting my sleeping pattern and.. somehow God was forgotten :X But after today’s service, I’m like I wanna talk to God!!! Haha. I’ve never felt so excited about going QT. (:

Before I end this post, I just wanna tell all the dearies out there receiving their results tml, cast your burdens and worries on God, let Him take care of it. I know you guys will get what God wants for you

Will be popping over to TKGS to find Nat tml! With Charis. Hopefully Nat doesn’t chase us away. Haha.

 

Till next time(:

Random ramblings…

I wanted to blog yesterday but I was so distracted watching my HK drama online. haha. Anyhow. Yesterday I spent the afternoon at my fave coffee place at Siglap, Starbucks! (:

I love that it never gets too crowded on weekdays… So I can just find a seat, read a book and sip my drink. That’s pure bliss to me! Haha. So that’s what I did yesterday. However, instead of reading my book as planned, I ended up people watching and doing a lot of thinking. I realised that people watching in a way really helps to relax and reflect?

I look at the bunch of sec sch girls, hanging, laughing, giggling about their latest crush and I think back about my wonderful days in TKGS. Where life was just a little simpler. Haha.

Then I see hidden at the corner, two girls with their GC engrossed in maths! And I think back to my MJ days, mugging in school…airport…having fun with my A101

And I then the table next to me, is an events planner having like a meeting with his client. And I heard like the events planner talking about his life and how he became an events planner and like he flies everywhere! ( I was not eavesdropping, they just happened to be loud! )

Hearing about their work life made me think about how I’m going to hit the big 2-0 in 2months plus time? Haha. I feeel OLD.  It’s like I’m going to be an “adult age” and its like whoa! I wanna stay forever 19!!! ( I know serene will agree with me on this! (: )

But I guess I have to face the facts right? Oh well. I should be getting back to starting on my group assignment.

 

Till next time(:

The reason behind a incendio

Had a blast today meeting up with my dearest miss wee for a movie. Bedtime Stories. Not too bad… Probably give it like 3/5. (: Then we had dinner with mercy! Who I’ve not seen in ages. So it was great to see her. “I brought extra money to shop!” Haha. Unfortunately mercy was not able to find anything. I on the other hand found potential CNY clothes, waiting for the special discounts on thurs! haha. 

Anyhow. I should explain this blog name. (:

It’s italian for “on fire”. And yes, credits to mel for giving me inspiration to search for words in other languages. I wanted to give my blog a more meaningful name. So a incendio it is. I guess in a way, the name for my blog is a reminder to me about what I want my year 2009 to be like.  I want to be on fire for God. I believe in faith that great and wonderful things are going to happen this year, especially for the ministry! 

And I decided to blog again cos’ mel enticed me with WordPress! haha. But also more cos’ the module I’m doing right now has a lot to do with the internet and blogging. So I kinda felt like blogging again. Haha. Anyway, I really ought to get back to my group discussion.

Till next time(:

My first post (:

This is my first time using WordPress. A bit confusing. Cos’ I wanna use this cool layout, but the instructions to upload to my blog is kinda hard to understand. And besides its nearly 1AM! I need to sleep. I have school at 9! 

The whole night mel has been “exposing me to the good life” as she says. Haha. Yes, so it’s gmail and wordpress for me. A little tricky with switching to gmail though. I’ll leave it for the weekend.  (:

I have more to say, but I really should be sleeping! 

Till next time(: